Since starting my Ob/Gyn internship, I have interviewed several women as they set up care during their “New Ob” visit. One of the questions that we always ask is, “Do you feel safe at home?” We then further elaborate trying to find out whether verbal, physical, or sexual abuse exists. In the instance that there is abuse at home, we help her determine if she would like help, and if so align her with social work to get access to the appropriate resources.
I was actually shocked to see quite how many women stated that there was some type of abuse at home. That prompted me to look up some stats on DV. According to the American Institute on Domestic Violence: [Visit their site for more statistics: AIDV.]
- The health-related costs of rape, physical assault, stalking and homicide by intimate partners exceed $5.8 billion each year.
- Of this total nearly $4.1 billion is for victims requiring direct medical and mental health care services
- 85-95% of all domestic violence victims are female
- 5.3 million women are abused each year
- Over 500,000 women are stalked by an intimate partner each year
- 1,232 women are killed each year by an intimate partner
Despite these staggering statistics, many women still choose not to report instances of domestic violence. Interestingly, I was emailed by a reader asking to do a guest posting on my site. I have never had any posts not written by myself, but I figure after 2+ years of doing this, it’s time for a change. I asked her to write a post discussing why domestic violence often goes unreported:
Domestic violence, unlike widespread perception, is not something that happens only to people who don’t have money and who live in bad neighborhoods. It happens in almost every household, sometimes in subtle ways. But we hardly hear of these incidents because more often than not, they go unreported. They may end up hurting women and children, sometimes badly, but they are still kept hidden from the rest of the world. And if we look at the reasons behind this obsessive need for secrecy, we find that domestic crimes go unreported because of:
- The fear of repercussion: Some women keep quiet because of threats from their spouse or partner to harm their children or other members of the family if they report the violence. The fear of others being attacked keeps them from opening their mouth – they would rather bear the torture than have others exposed to it as well.
- The fear of ostracism: Some women are worried about what society will say and how the neighbors will perceive them. They distress over the whispers that will take place behind their backs, and the malicious gossip that will spread faster than wildfire if they call in the police to resolve a domestic conflict that went too far.
- The fear of loss: Others are just plain scared that they will end up losing the only family they have or know, and so they bear the agony in silence. They have no means of fending for themselves and are at the mercy of the man, and this gives him an unlimited sense of power over her.
- A sense of inadequacy: Women who are constantly put down by men and kept submissive tend to develop a sense of inadequacy over a period of time. They lack the courage and conviction to report the violence and seek help for themselves.
- Adaptation to the situation: And some women have just become so used to it happening because it takes place on a regular basis. They just cry and get on with their lives because it is something that they have accepted even though they don’t like it.
If you are a victim of domestic violence, you must speak up to prevent it from happening again and again. When you do find the courage to report it, other women may be encouraged by your example to do the same. And the more the number of women who speak out, the less the incidence of this crime.
This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of radiography technician schools . Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson1@gmail.com.
For resources about Domestic violence please visit the sites of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, and An Abuse, Rape, Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection, which is full of resourses for women that are being abused. Please feel free to share any additional resources that may be useful for women suffering from DV.
