As my wedding day gets closer and closer I’m forced to think about my name. For the last 25 years my name has been “Med Obsession”. I graduated high school, college, and medical school with this name. All of my awards and keepsakes for sports, scholarships, honors, and my debutante are written with this name. Even all of my official documents: driver license, passport, board exams, resident training license and social security card have this name. I’ve even gotten quite used to the ring of “Dr. Obsession” at work. On a sentimental note, all of my names have meaning: my first name is named for my mother, my middle name is named for my great aunt, and of course my last name is my family name. I know that I’m much more than a name, but I feel quite torn about how to proceed. In this day and age there are several possibilities about what I can do:
1. Nothing, keep my name as is both personally and professionally
2. Keep my last name professionally, but take his last name personally, as the Mrs.
3. Hyphenate my last name
4. Hyphenate my last name and try to convince him to hyphenate his name and pass this new last name on to the kids
5. Drop my middle name and make my maiden name my new middle name
6. Keep my middle name and make my maiden name a second middle name
7. Drop my last name and change to his last name
I’m sure there are probably even more options than this! For the women out there, what did you do? For the men out there, how would you feel? I’d love to hear your input.
Posted by Anonymous on February 28, 2010 at 2:29 pm
That’s such a hard one! I’ll eventually be an MD too, and I’ve heard good arguements for keeping your name (if you have already published, etc), but I really want to change mine. If I don’t happen to change mine for whatever reason, I will definately go by Mrs. Husband’sLastName in every setting except for work. I just feel like my desire to be connected to my kids and husband is greater than my “old” identity. Granted, it is a big pain in the butt to change it.
Posted by Nicholas Fogelson on February 28, 2010 at 7:58 pm
My wife is an OB as well, and she kept her original name. She occasionally uses my name when we’re in hotels, but professionally she uses her maiden name. She’s published quite a bit under her original name, so changing it would be bad for academic reputation a bit.
Posted by Kyllan on March 1, 2010 at 11:58 pm
You are still early enough in your career that you can change it without it being too terrible of an ordeal. I decided to drop my last name altogether and take William’s…. no hyphen, no former maiden name becomes middle name. I didn’t have huge attachment to my last name, but I also felt it was important that as a married woman, I have a new identity and that encompasses my husband. As a child who grew up with a different name than her mother for several years when my mother remarried, I will also say it was annoying having a different last name. People always assume your parents have the same last name as you do.
).
The bottom line is that it is a decision that only you can make, but my recommendation is to change it, despite the pain it takes to do so (I still have a few documents with my maiden name that I have yet to change!!
Posted by rob on March 4, 2010 at 2:50 pm
As much as I would love for you to keep your maiden name, I agree that you might as well make the complete switch to his last name since it’s so early in your career and everything.
Posted by Spades on March 4, 2010 at 3:04 pm
i think you should hyphenate your last name how mom does it
Posted by medobsession on March 11, 2010 at 3:39 pm
I’ll keep you posted in a few months once I’m a married woman! Thanks for the input.
Posted by nik on April 17, 2010 at 10:34 pm
I say either of these;
1. Nothing, keep my name as is both personally and professionally
2. Keep my last name professionally, but take his last name personally, as the Mrs.
But truly, this would be the most interesting;
4. Hyphenate my last name and try to convince him to hyphenate his name and pass this new last name on to the kids
It’s interesting how society works with last names. In Quebec, for example, women don’t take their husband’s last names. That’s just the way it is-they’re not the most traditional people, especially after the silent revolution (they have a law against it).
If you wanna read about changing names, and viewpoints, check this out:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_binks/20040113.html
Posted by 2010 In Review « MED OBSESSION: on January 4, 2011 at 3:02 pm
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